Its a Revolution! It's "The Man Ban"

What is "The Man Ban" you ask?  Well my BFF describes it as her decision to hit "the refresh button" on dating. After years of dating losers, douchebags and heartless a$$holes she has decided to stop... just stop accepting invitations out to dinners, invitations out for drinks and the random invitation out dancing from men who obviously will add nothing to her overall well-being as an intelligent, motivated, determined, beautiful young woman. And as my BFF was professing her new lease on life, I was realizing that not only was this the advice I had been giving her and my other besties after hearing about their multitude if dating disasters that could easily rival the plethora of examples from The Dating Diaries and Sex and the City combined, but also this may be foundation for my dating behavior (or lack thereof) for the last while - a Man Ban!

 

 

As the bottle of crisp, cold pinot grigio gradually empties and my bestie and my roommate compare and contrast dating war stories I daze off and consider how exhausting dating truly is. We work on our minds by becoming educated. We work on our body and souls using fitness and nutrition. We apprehensively put ourselves out there just to be abruptly ignored or downright rejected. So why do we put ourselves through this? The amount of time and energy that is put into finding a man     is truly disturbing. And all for what? The same self-esteem killing cycle of rejection. OH HELL NO!  So the revolution begins. From now on we are going to focus on our career goals, nourish our relationships with family and friends, and find new ways to make our lives more fulfilling regardless of whether a man is by our side. The Man Ban is less about removing men from our lives and more about spending more time enjoying the life we have and finding ways to make it better without the dependence of another. So come one come all! Join the revolution!

 

 

Have you or anyone you know come up with a dating revolution? Share, Tell, Join the conversation.

 

 

Snip, Snip...Circumcised VS Uncircumcised

 

I need to begin this post by explaining how and why this topic of conversation has been recently ongoing in my household. For those reading who may not know I live with my two friends, who like me are currently single... and very ready to mingle! Ever since myself and my roommate who I'll refer to as A decided to sign up roommate B for online dating our mornings have been filled with uncontrollable laughter and downright confusion regarding some of the guys B has been on dates with. From a close talker with bad B.O. to a coffee lover who doesn't know the difference between a Drip Coffee and a Caesar Cocktail! Clearly the city isn't full of winners but when its all said and done and B finally gets that spark she has been looking for what we REALLY want to know is ...IS HE CUT?

 

Between my friends and I, cut or not cut is a topic that randomly presents itself in conversation as more of a divided debate than anything. Some of us believe it feels better during intercourse and on the flip side it has been argued that once a man is aroused there is visually and physically no difference. Sometimes the discussion is more about our future decisions as parents; Would we or wouldn't we to our sons? Is it a necessary ritual that is a part of life or is it an inhumane out of date barbaric  practice?

 

Bottom Pic. circumcision procedure

 

Personally, I'm against circumcision. I find it completely unnecessary and when or if I have children of my own, specifically a son there is no way anyone could convince to me to have the procedure illustrated above done on my baby.  

 

Here are a few links that discuss circumcision from a medical stand point and circumcision in other parts of the world. I would love to hear your thoughts as well. So what do you prefer? Cut or Uncut?

 



*Dr. Raj

 

*Circumcision-propaganda-parodies

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Text Ettiquette

Actual text msg between me and a GF

My text msg to a GF regarding a blind date

Like most of the women who are single in the city, my weekends (when I'm not stuck working @ my thankless job) are spent having early afternoon brunches, running errands throughout the day and spending the evening getting ready for the nights events. This weekend I had the pleasure of getting an invite to an exclusive listening party celebrating new, up and coming Hip Hop and R&B artist at the Canadian Urban Music Conference. Although the music and atmosphere were great the best part of the night had to be the conversation!

 

It seems that every time a single person meets another single person the topic of conversation always steers towards dating; Who you're dating? Where you're dating? How to get a date? This night was no different...except for the clichéd connection between us (the Y Generation) and technology. The discussion began something like this:

 
Single Guy "I can't stand the games women play! I text her saying>
          How was your day? What are you up to this weekend?
Then 2 or 3 days later I get a text back saying>
         Sorry I've been busy. This weekend I'm hanging out with my friends but maybe we can do something next weekend
By then I'm over it. I know she's playing some stupid game by waiting a couple days to respond and why would I want to waste my time with some chick who wants to play games. It takes a minute to write a quick text. If you're busy then let me know you're busy and when would be a better time to talk or text."
 
Single Girl "But you guys are the reason we don't respond right away! Because when we do or when we make ourselves available you say we're too needy and clingy."
 
Single Guy "No, that's not true. If he's into he wants to hear from you end of story. But I mean you don't need to tell your whole life story over text message because that's a turn off!"
 
Single Girl(s) "Wait what!? But you just said guys like to hear from the women they like."
 
Single Guy #2 "Ya, but we don't want to read paragraphs over text message. Regardless of what is being said or asked when we text Goodnight or Talk to you later conversation over.

It went back and forth like this for a while until I giggled and said "I can't believe we've been talking THIS long about text messaging!" Then another young woman chimed in "Well text messaging, tweeting, instagramming & facebook messaging it's the way we communicate now. Technology is the prime source of communication for our generation dating or otherwise."

 

ACTUAL TEXT MSG


What are your thoughts on text messaging when dating? Text a lot or a little? Is voice to voice conversation obsolete?






   

September Issue - officially on stands now

Making the best of JOB HUNT MODE

 

So here WE go blog post number 1! I would like to start by introducing myself, I am a recent University graduate, which inadvertently means the next few years  the word budget is ever present in my vocabulary. I am a self-described pop culture expert with an appreciation boy-bands, spontaneous dance breaks  and fairy-tale endings.  A few years ago I decided to go back to school in hopes of fulfilling whatever it was that I felt was missing the first time around (direction, determination, passion, etc.). I originally  began my post-secondary education pursing Social Work with dreams of changing peoples lives, however I lost interest quickly once I realized that most some people prefer to dwell on their misfortunes and wallow in self-pity.

I've heard/read that "INSANITY is the act of doing the same thing over and over but expecting the result to be different." 
I have spent time working as a crisis line counselor AND I happen to know a lot of single women - you'd be surprised how many insane people exist! 

When my idealistic dreams about saving the world turned into bitter pessimism I went ahead and took the advice of one of my besties and I enrolled in University. To say I am glad to add a University degree to my small list of achievements is an understatement. Now graduated, I glance above my desk and look at my University Honors Bachelors Degree beside my College Diploma (w/ Scholars btw), beside my College Certificate and think ... NOW WHAT? 

How long is too long before you begin thinking about other career goals after you graduate University? How many days/hours do you spend sending emails, resume & cover letter attachments to potential jobs opportunities? How many politely worded rejections and words of wisdom from everyone you know is too many before you have a breakthrough...or just devastating break down?

 

While I figure that out I will be doing one of the many things I love... talking/chatting/ gossiping/ debriefing/ whatever you want to call it! On here it translates into writing/blogging/posting but that's ok because I love writing and telling stories that evoke emotion of any kind. At the end of the day I am just a single girl living in the city just trying to understand my own life and the lives of those around me. Whether I'm attending one of our infamous Girls Night Hump Day Dinners (I'll discuss this at a later date), or indulging in brunch at one of the many breakfast hot spots with my roommates, or luxuriating on the weekend on my bed debriefing about the weeks events on the phone with my besties (or even at times one of my brothers-yes boys like a good gossip session too...sometimes) for hours (I think 3hrs has been clocked as our longest convo - just saying),  I find myself dissecting and analyzing every aspect of my life on a semi-regular basis with everyone having the ability to chime in. It's interesting how opinions can change by the simple opinion of another. And this is the exact reason I chose to blog (well that and because everyone else is doing it!). Why not have a forum where everyone gets a say?

 

I have always believed that the best conversations are the ones where it changes your way of thinking, seeing and understanding a particular situation or the world as a whole.

 

So join the conversation because I'll be talking regardless, its just more fun when everyone joins in!



This is how I picture my conversations